“As Inclusion Disappears, My Mask Reappears”
“As DEI programs fade and inclusion efforts stall, many of us feel a familiar pressure returning. Overtly or covertly, we are no longer encouraged to be ourselves at work, but to mask and conform to neurotypical standards again. The pressure is on, yet again, to people-please – to be extra easy, extra agreeable, extra adaptable, and to act like everything is fine. And it’s exhausting.”
May 30, 2025
Many of us with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence only started to “bring our whole selves” to work quite recently. As a result of neurodiversity training and DEI efforts, we began to unmask. We spoke more openly about executive dysfunction and sensory needs. We asked for accommodations, formally and informally.
But today, as DEI programs fade and inclusion efforts stall, many of us feel a familiar pressure returning. Overtly or covertly, we are no longer encouraged to be ourselves at work. Instead, we’re expected to mask and conform to neurotypical standards again. The pressure is back — to people-please, to be extra easy, extra agreeable, extra adaptable, and to act like everything is fine.
And it’s exhausting. We expend energy in ways most people never notice: suppressing our stims, rehearsing conversations, monitoring our behaviors. The extra cognitive load carries consequences: more burnout, more dysregulation, and far less access to our actual strengths.
What do we do when the progress we counted on begins to recede?
1. Avoid Personalizing It
Sometimes it’s easy to recognize what’s happening because the signs are obvious: The DEI team is cut. The language in the handbook changes. Sometimes it’s just a vibe shift — silence replacing celebration. The unspoken expectations to get things done and avoid standing out or speaking up. Either way, the signal is the same: Masking is back on the table.
Recognizing what’s actually happening – that these are structural changes and not a reflection on your abilities – will, I hope, help you avoid internalizing these changes as personal failures. As with all structural changes, the problem is not yours alone to fix.
[Read: “DEI – and Neurodivergence – Are Under Attack”]
2. Redefine Professionalism Before It Defines You
Too often, “professionalism” is code for “hide what makes you different.” But professionalism isn’t about being quiet or predictable. It’s about communication, accountability, and showing up with intention.
From scripts and stim toys to time-blocking apps and task batching, plenty of tools and supports exist to help you do your job. Just remember: You don’t have to become someone else to meet expectations.
3. Find Safe Micro-Spaces
Even when company culture shifts, individuals inside it often don’t. Think of the co-worker who quietly advocates. The manager who gets it. The group chat where you can be blunt. These safe micro-zones can make a big difference. Tread carefully and look for the places where you can breathe. If you can’t find safe spaces at work, try participating in anonymous online support groups.
4. Don’t Trade Peace for Your Job
If your workplace culture no longer holds space for who you are, protect your energy accordingly. Set boundaries. Scale back. Exit as soon as you can. Do your best to remember that your job does not define you or anyone. You’re not being lazy, dramatic, or “too much” by keeping your peace. You’re responding to an environment that no longer feels safe — and your body knows it before your brain does.
[Q&A: “How Can I Stop People-Pleasing Behaviors at Work?”]
5. Look for the Helpers
In these trying and unprecedented times, it’s important to focus on the people who are doing the work to bring positive change. Whether it’s recognizing the manager or colleague at your job who continues to advocate for inclusive workplace practices or following like-minded, outspoken advocates on social media, make an effort to look for signs that not all is lost.
Perhaps the masking era never really ended. But the promise of inclusion gave many of us hope that we could work — and live — a little more authentically. If that promise is gone, it’s OK to grieve. But it’s also OK to hold your ground. You’ve already learned how to show up. You don’t need to shrink just because the culture did.
Lack of Inclusion in the Workplace: Next Steps
- Read: 4 Steps to Claiming the Career You Deserve
- Read: “Great Leaders Foster a Positive Work Environment for All Employees”
- Read: “Women with ADHD Prefer Silence Over Disclosure. This Needs to Change.”
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